Parody: "Satisfied" from Hamilton (Lin-Manuel Miranda)
Inspired by: Watching the entirety of Star Trek: TOS in approximately one month
UHURA: All right, all right! That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
Now everybody give it up for the best first officer in the fleet, Mr. Spock!
SPOCK:
To Kirk and McCoy! (BRIDGE CREW: McCoy!)
To your pride (BRIDGE
CREW: To our pride!)
To your mission (BRIDGE CREW: Five years in all)
To seek new life far and wide
To your nation (BRIDGE
CREW: To elation! To the Federation!)
And the strength to be allied (BC:
Be allied, be allied)
May you always
Be satisfied
Rewind…
Computer,
Rewind… (COMPUTER: Affirmative)
I remember that night
I just might regret that night
But that's a human phrase
I remember those Starfleet boys
Tripping over themselves to win our praise
I remember that moment on the edge
Of forever and an eyebrow raise
But James Tiberius, I’ll never forget the first time I saw
your face
I have never been the same
Warm, impish brown eyes in a green-tunic’d frame
And when you said hi I felt friendship and shame
Set my heart aflame, like Pon Farr aflame
This is not a game
KIRK: You strike me as a Vulcan who has never been satisfied
SPOCK: Captain, I don’t know what you mean. That’s a human
term.
KIRK: You’re like me, I’m never satisfied.
SPOCK: Is that right?
KIRK: Boldly gone but not satisfied.
SPOCK: My real name…you couldn’t pronounce it.
KIRK: James Tiberius Kirk is, um…
SPOCK: Where’s your accent from?
KIRK: Unimportant, there’s a million beings I haven’t done
Just you wait, just you wait
SPOCK: So so so
So this is what it feels like to match wits
With an equal - now I’m torn! Is there a Gorn? What’s the
catch? It’s
A transporter beam turning you into light
It’s a Zefram Cochrane warp engine flight,
You see it, right?
The conversation was exactly twelve seconds, three minutes
Everything we said in total agreement, it’s
A dream fall from a neck-pinching stance,
It’s a Tholian Web, a woven intricate dance. He’s a
Bit of a flirt, but I’m ‘a give it a chance
I asked why he was shirtless, did you see his answer?
His hand on his phaser while he looked askance?
He’s bluffing like he’s got some Corbomite in his pants
Handsome, boy does he know it
Soft hair, like a Tribble would grow it
I wanna warp light years away from this place
Then I turn and see the doctor’s face and he is
MCCOY: Hypo-less
SPOCK: And I know, he is
MCCOY: Hypo-less
SPOCK: His blue eyes are just
MCCOY: Hypo-less
SPOCK and BRIDGE CREW: And I realize
Three logic’lly sound truths at the exact same time
KIRK: Where are you taking me?
SPOCK: I’m about to change your life, Captain.
KIRK: Then by all means, lead the way.
MAJEL BARRETT: Number One!
SPOCK:
Human world, Vulcan nerves: a gift
Is a benefit, an internal rift
Starfleet’s just got the one, so I’m the son
Who needs to never seem undone
So I’m the calmest and the snarkiest and my hallmark’s
To embark on this Star Trek quest
And Kirk is earmarked for ears with less
Ha! I’m still checkmated in this game of chess
MCCOY: Leonard McCoy. It’s a pleasure to meet you.
KIRK: McCoy?
SPOCK: Ship’s doctor.
SCOTTY: Number Two!
SPOCK: He’s after me cause I’m a Vulcan prince
That elevates his status I’d
Be naïve not to keep Sarek in mind
Maybe that is why
I introduce him to McCoy, now he’s by his side
Nice going Spock, Captain Jim Kirk was right
You will never be satisfied
MCCOY: Thank you for all your service.
KIRK: If it takes getting slashed in the chest for us to
meet, it will have been worth it.
SPOCK: I’ll leave you to your human conversation.
SULU: Number Three!
SPOCK:
I know McCoy, I’ve melded with his own mind
You will never find
Anyone less logical, more kind
If I tell him that I love Jim he’d decidedly resign
He’d be mine
He would drawl, it’s fiiiine
He’d be lying
But in the endless night of space
It’s my commander’s eyes
Out on the Enterprise
What might have been if I hadn’t sized
Him up with logic?
At least on the bridge I mask the strife
At least I keep my post in his life
To Jim Kirk!
To his guide!
From your Science
Officer too dignified…
To emotion
You can share what I deride
May you always
Be satisfied
And I know
I have self-disqualified
Kobayashi Maru-
It can never be satisfied
I will never be satisfied
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